I Won't Be Here Forever, by And the Maiden

I Won't Be Here Forever

by And the Maiden

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C20 Cassette
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Pro-duplicated green shell cassette with 2-panel j-card. Limited to 25 copies.

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	1.	Untitled (Psycho) 09:59
	2.	Untitled (Deranged) 09:38

about

"Both of these tapes were made as I was speaking daily with my grandmother, through her illness and leading up to her death.

'I Won't Be Here Forever' is quite likely the nastiest, darkest and ugliest recording I've put out; each side using samples from Ed Gein inspired films - Psycho and Deranged - the 'killer tranny' trope that unifies them is reflective of the difficult relationship I've historically had with my family, in regard to my transition, but it's also no mistake that these are two films that deal with someone's loss of a maternal figure. It was both violent and painful to make, and I think it sounds like it.

'Beyond This Place of Wrath and Tears,' and the making of it, felt completely the opposite. Inspired by William Ernest Henley's poem 'Invictus,' in the 'Life and Death (Echoes)' section of his first book, it predominantly makes use of FX loops and static picked up by a largely immobile contact mic. It was my attempt at a sonic 'letting go and letting god' - save for some dial tweaking. Still, with what dial work I did, it developed some synth-like dynamics that almost approach a melody. I was listening to a fair bit of Terry Riley's 'A Rainbow in Curved Air' and Sunn O)))'s 'Life Metal' at the time, and figure it shines through quite a bit.
'I Won't Be Here Forever' is the tunnel. 'Beyond This Place of Wrath and Tears' is the light. I'd advise getting both and listening in that order, but by all means do whatever you want to do.

Incredibly grateful to Astralands for their faith in this project, and for being willing to drop both at once. So happy to be releasing through an Ithaca label, please support them!"

- Lexi C.M.K Turner

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released April 2, 2021

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astralands Ithaca, New York

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